"Letting Loss Lead"

Our move to the Big Island of Hawaii has been a grand adventure  no doubt!  But in addition to the thrill and excitement, we have clearly identified a series of obvious and more subtle losses in our relocation.

Since we were owners of Many Hands Gallery for 22 years, we know the retail term 'loss leader' as something that you sell at a small loss because it brings customers in who will buy other things; it is a pretty standard industry practice.  Identifying the losses we experienced has been a profound learning experience and we have encouraged our loss to "lead us" to learn more about ourselves.

We have each identified a variety of losses associated with our relocation and retirement.  There's the obvious loss of a working income - now that we are both on Social Security AND Medicare!  There were many obvious losses early on, as we let go of vast amounts of accumulated "stuff." Sadly, in the year before we left, we also experienced the loss of two of our family members, our sweet corgi kids - Abbey Ennis Puddin'chin and Chauncy R. Valentine.

Lunel created this image of a vessel

Letting go of Many Hands Gallery didn't feel like a loss at all  -- we were ready to let go of retail, although we had made hundreds of friends through the gallery over 22 years of business who will be missed. Other losses came in the form of Phil's divestment of his inventory of lighthouse note cards, lots of art, both personal and collected over 40 years.  Both of us let go of many family heirlooms.  Lunel felt she simply could not take nearly 100 precious boxes of assemblage treasures - which also meant leaving supplies and numerous completed pieces with a broker.  Finally, leaving friends is a clearly identifiable loss; we know it will take years to accumulate dear friends like those we left behind.

Perhaps the most illusive loss we both faced is the loss of our artist's identity.  Phil was creating and selling many redwood items through Many Hands, and Lunel was delighted in her growing skill, the number of galleries she was involved with, the great press coverage of her art and the fact she was selling pieces monthly.  Phil is committed to continuing his watercolor paintings and exploring the wonderful woods of Hawaii.  Lunel, though is a little lost and finding her current property development projects to be satisfying distractions.

It has been valuable to explore these cracks in our heart -- these losses we have experienced.  But we have also both identified "loss" as something that can lead us -- to explore our inner longings and the outward expression of our experiences.  We are reminded of the story about Rumi, who, when dealing with a profound loss and deep grief literally "spun" his sadness away by whirling!!   Rumi's quote about loss is appropriate as well; "The wound is the place where the light enters you."

Our dear friend and San Francisco Bay Area poetess Sherri Rose-Walker says it poignantly in her poem entitled:

"The Wisdom of Brokenness"

Among the People, it is said
broken vessels are holy.
Lightning cracks mended,
bound with twine
to hold the integrity of their shapes,
they are blessed, given grain
and sacred stones to hold.
The wounds of such vessels
see, breathe, allow
inner eyes to see out,
outer eyes to see within.
Cracks, fissures,
gaping mouths of broken doorways
are passages for mothering air
to bestow her luminous light,
stir new breath,
alter the alchemy of time.

Make of my wounds gateways,
breathing and seeing;
bind up my broken shape,
fill me with still music.

Sherri Rose-Walker
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September 2012