On The Road Again

During the first few weeks after The Event (which includes the seizure/coma/fire/lava) on May 2nd, I have been unable to tolerate excessive stimulation -- like noise, light, crowds, conversation, traffic, shopping lines, dogs barking, sirens, helicopters etc., etc..  One Sunday early in the process, Phil went to one of our local farmers' markets alone and came back with a surprise gift. As he presented it to me he confessed that he had just spend a lot of money buying a gift for me. Of course, right now, spending money on anything unnecessary has not been part of our MO.

Then, with his shy grin, he confessed as I opened the gift, that actually he had only spent $10! Opening the gift I was again moved to tears at his perceptive choice -- a tapestry from India -- pictured here. Of course, the meaning was clear; we are "on the road again" in our lives -- in a temporary safe place while knowing we will be moving again before this challenging ordeal is over. To both of us it represented that wherever we go, we take our "temple" with us. And, so it is as we prepare to move ourselves, our furry kids, and our "Temple" to our next safe haven.

It has been an interesting learning experience for me, personally, to have been forced to "drop the reins" struggling with the associated disabilities of PTSD and the loss of our home, and the unknowns of the seizure incident -- me, the Type-A Leo - in charge, in control, multi-tasking person I am. In my letting go, Phil has taken on a new role as Protector and Defender and it is he who has been driving the bus, providing a sense of tender compassion while dealing with his own losses.

Through it all we have had moments of doubt, yes, of course, moments of despair and depression, but we have managed to return to the deepest truths we know for reassurance and hope. And, always with gratitude to the kindness of friends, neighbors and strangers who have aided us in our journey.